So here we are 2 days from Christmas, and I'm in an unenviable position--being married to a verbally abusive, bully husband.  It's not a surprise that at this time of year, were it not for my kids, that I would often wish I was somewhere else. But God has been good to me, and he gave me my son and daughter. (They're a story for another time.)
 I'm in this situation because I made a mistake decades ago, and now I've been a stay-at-home mom for twenty years and have no means of supporting myself given that I have a chronic illness. Yes, that's why I stay.
Around Christmas time I find myself wishing that my own parents were still alive. Somehow I think that would make things better. The love of family does wonders for mending a broken heart and giving one perspective.  This year, as in most others, I'm going with my family to my sister's house where for a short time I can pretend to have a normal life.  For me that's what it frequently comes down to--pretending. I guess it's my way of coping, a defense mechanism perhaps. But it works, a lot of the time. And this year will be no different I'm sure.
We'll all meet up at her house after noon, open presents, eat kielbasa, have a glass of egg nog or wine, and then eat a very scrumptious dinner of roast turkey and all the trimmings. And after enjoying the company and conversation of my extended family, we'll have desert (supplied by my sister and me), before heading home. It's one of those days I live for.  A day when I can block out my mistakes and hope for a better tomorrow. A day when I can laugh, smile and mean it, and relax. How I wish I could have more days like that. But for this day, this special, holy day, I will be the me I was meant to be.